Full time battler

I have been wondering lately whether I should delete this blog. I hate to admit it. I hate even more that I am admitting it to no one. For surely anyone who flicked to this page stopped doing so after the posts dried up. To remaining stragglers - I’m sorry. All I can say is that my routine became so consumed with study that any space in my mind for interesting thoughts, musings, or inspiration, was smothered by the daily grind.

I’ve finished my degree now. The five and a half year build up came and went relatively quietly, and I’m left trying to figure out my life - a challenge faced by grads year after year. Most have a plan. I do not. So when I was thinking about this blog - between shifts watching The Wire and fretting about my lack of motivation – I realised that giving up on it could have a domino effect. Soon I would be giving up on brushing my teeth and showering. The time to act is now.

To mark this change, I have decided to dedicate this post to the top 5 harsh realities that I have realised you face when the sweet hot water bottle that is university goes cold in your arms.

1. You don’t have a heavy workload anymore.

Uni students love to talk about how stressed they are. I did it. All the time, every day, repeatedly. I knew no one cared. It’s really quite dull, and no one can say anything that will ease your stress, but man it feels good to vent. You feel like you’re achieving something by reeling off the impossibly large list of tasks you have to have done by 4pm Friday. Your bosses despise your excuses, your non-uni friends think it is tedious and repetitive, and your parents tolerate it because they love you. The only person you can rant to without guilt is a fellow busy student. And even they don’t really care but are just pleased because the agreement is reciprocal. They are allowed to follow your rant with an equally long rant about their workload. Then you can both fret and grind your teeth together. But once it’s done and uni experience complete, all that work become a memory. You can ride the achievement wave for a while, but too long and you become similar to a celebrity obsessed with their one hit. Bret Michaels springs to mind. Every episode of Rock of Love that I watched  (which was like 2, ehem) he managed to pull out that dusty old acoustic and sing ‘Every rose has its thorn’, like he had written it in 2009 rather than 1988. Your big achievement, your one hit. As I settled in for an afternoon nap last Tuesday, I wondered – will an undergraduate degree be mine? 

 
2. If the world was a high school, you would be a third former.

Yes, it’s true. Pack a lunch to carry in that giant backpack, because you have no money for sushi. You’re grasping for scraps. Desperate to please and make an impression. Give me a job, go on.

3. You are a social pariah.

Alienated from the uni clique and not welcome at the young-corporates' indoor sporting games or after work drinks. You are a lone wolf, free to e-mail hopefully and consider your options, alone.

4. You cannot go ANYWHERE.

You are free. Yes. The world is your oyster. No. 
It costs money to go on a plane, or leave the house.

 

5. Everyone is interested in your plans.

Family, family friends, friends, friends of friends.

“So, what are you up to now?”

I HAVE NO IDEA.

Hopefully all readers are feeling good about their own positions right now. But if my gloomy speel is a mirror of your own anxiety, let me know, we can commiserate together. No doubt we both have free time to kill. For now, I have Mariah Carey and her emancipation. It’s inspiring stuff. I listen to a hit a day. She had hers, I’m thinking I’ll have mine.
xx